we were growing apart before then. long before then. that was why i disappeared. i didn't really feel wanted. on your birthday. i felt like an outsider.

you held certain others above me, and while that may not have been a big deal, the fact of the matter is i was suffocating in the puddle at your feet and you never even noticed.

i didn't feel welcomed. or wanted.

and i still don't.

i've called you how many times, and you haven't had the decency to call once. even though it is you who keeps saying you will.

i never ditched you for shit. but, go back, count the times, you'll need more than your fingers . . . count how often you would ditch me.

what about the few times we'd make plans and i would drive all the way to your house, only to discover you had left. do you have any idea how depressing that was? probably not. that's why i let it go.

but no. now i get to hear that all this is MY fault. cause i 'ditched' you on your birthday. at least i was around for your birthday. at least i tried to show how much i cared that it was your birthday. what did you do for MY birthday?

i'm sick of this lameass rambling. what's done is done.

i'll see you around.

past. : present. : future.