Things can't get much weirder

This can't get much worse

Don't know why you wouldn't kiss me

But it's a good thing I asked you first.

You were a big strapping boy with a boner.

And I felt it in your goodbye

You gave me an evening I'll never forget

No matter how hard I try.

Yeah you were just mister flirtatious

All night just workin' that ass

Well you know it's uncool to bring it to school

If you don't want to share with the class

I am just Mrs. embarresed

I feel like a dirty old man

I've got my eye on a guy

That just moved out of mom's house

With his pretty head stuck in the sand

You've earned yourself a place in my memory

By being the one who said no

Where are my fucking car keys

I think I'll just go

Surprise surprise now you miss me

Now that I'm not in your face

Surprise surprise now you're calling me

Now that you feel safe

Do you think that I could be your prom date

You could do us a stiff little dance

Except that this isn't high school, baby

And you had your chance

You had your chance

You've earned yourself a place in my memory

By being the one who said no

Now where are my fucking car keys I think I should go

Hey look! car keys... bye!

..things can't get much weirder

This can't get much worse

Don't know why you wouldn't kiss me

But it's a good thing I asked you first.

You were a big strapping boy with a boner.

And I felt it in your goodbye

You're leaving I'll never forget

No matter how hard I try

No matter how hard I try

past. : present. : future.