i'm starting to veer from xanga.

everyone i know has one, and i mean, i AM partially to blame for it.

from anthony to nicole.. both of which have xanga's that were basically just set up by me....

ughck.

fucking.. xanga drama all over the place.

i'm just sitting here listening to the bled. great band. hot damn i love these kids.

in the mean time.

i feel really stupid that this certain kid read my xanga while i didn't know about it. that lames me out. i mean.. there's so much that i said that could be interpreted wrong.

for example.

(suzie pointed this out to me)

i had one entry where i just pointed out that last night was the first time i've cried in a long time. and he could quite easily (and probably does) see that as being about him.

little does he know my crying had nothing to do with him. i was crying for two reasons.

1) a friend of mine betrayed my trust. i already have enough issues with trusting people. shit like that doesn't help.

2) i've been dealing ALL YEAR with this case of me not being good enough for anyone. this little stitch i'm in is quite ubiquitous. every time i dig a guy he immediately digs my friend.

that shit adds up. makes you get real down on yourself when it's been going on for months.

indeed.

anyway.

i've got my ranting done.

UNMOTHERFUCKINGCENSORED.

sweet.

i don't care who reads this.

diaryland shall remain my safe-haven.

past. : present. : future.